[a set of dressers a sweater hangs off the taller of the three two shorter dressers, covered in books, papers, electronics, a computer one dresser drawer with an index card reads: Done the next one reads: Do the walls above are covered in hand-written sticky notes, lists, word clouds, chart paper, pictures]
“A wall is a catalog. A history of what comes up” (Ahmed, 2017, p. 149, emphasis in text). Nathan’s work on “Undone,” confined to the walls of Lindsay's bedroom, featured their Mad-making history literally scribbled over walls. It was a catalog of brilliantly undone projects and sensations and reminders and experiences and encounters with madness and art and the art of Mad living, in sharpie markers of the past and sticky-notes of the present. Like Nathan’s work in Mad Home, Ahmed asks, “if the walls could talk, what would they say? We need the walls to talk. What a story” (p. 220, emphasis in text).
Nathan crafts monologues that make the hairs on our bodies stand in praise, populating a whole world in Lindsay's bedroom with projects that are (and make us come) undone.
Undone - monologue titles: it’s funny actually, it’s about to begin, bring snacks, private public, true, boundaries, form, make a playlist, midwife visit, untitled, this is a conversation, collection, do no harm, good intentions, political correctness, border crossing, spell check, list of strategies, the bank account, lines, home, the long walk, danger, earth time, I have discovered a love, invisible, stuck, I am on hold with the CRA, I assume, my days, prepare for the wibble-wobble, let it come, shame, how are you? I read Natalie Bly in the hospital, tremor, authority, thesis, parenting, journals, barriers, I am not all together solid, insurance, home, lifeline, the tyranny of happiness, contracts, hack the system, pregnancy, weird, popcan, this is not a place of wellness, meds, normal, writing on walls, get it together, have you tried? Hysteria, fixing, forgiving, translations, but I’ve been compliant!, report cards, list, calculations of lost, loss, it’s going to rip you apart, one piece of advice, story re-story, undone. Those are the scenes
[A white bedroom door photographed from the inside by a figure in shadow. The door is collaged in words, sayings, notes of encouragement, a giant star. One quote from a magazine, "happy & healthy" is cut into strips, and put back together sideways, loosely, and with gaps. The other signs read: LOVE Attend Outlift Outlast keep going long after you can't One more time Traveller, you are nearing the beginning of all things. Believe. It is safe to say my life is great! without wincing, struggling, or qualifying against the fear of possible failure events. TRUST Affirm TRY AGA...
[a wooden dresser, full of books stacked on end. The top dresser drawer is labelled "Done" and sits open showing off many many empty prescription pill bottles]
[The same dresser with a second top drawer, labelled "Do" sits open and full of markers, crayons, pencil crayons, tape, headphones, and papers]
[a mad collage on top of a pink polkadot comforter. pictures include: a girl hanging from a star comics a fish with wheels a tree pots of food wings a purple octopus in crayon a moon a mad hatter northern lights
fragments read: madman trapped bringing the unconscious to life an octopus pulled it into tiny pieces love is the drug the dark night of the soul cross your t's and dot your i's behavior got more and more erratic still standing order need a different reality? try ours! designed by folks as birdy as you.]
[a close up on one corner of the mad collage. framed by white tissue paper, a comic: two people are looking at an abstract painting in a gallery the caption, highlighted in yellow, reads: "It's good, but it doesn't say 'bipolar'". Under this comic caption, another caption reads: Intro. 5. New Yorker cartoon associating 'bipolar' with outstanding art.
[Nathan's nametag, with a border that alternates between red, yellow, and green, reads: I would like to be present with you. We may have to work together on that.]
[Nathan's hand frames the left side of the photo, thumb and index finger making an L Nathan's nightly pills rest in the crook of the L against a grainy brown background]